Sitting around, I try to make sense of this life,
Sometimes it feels lovely sometimes it feels like a knife,
Has been put around my neck,
And someone is choking me from inside, as I gasp for breadth.I get up everyday, all pumped up to conquer,
The world, but then the external and internal forces conspire and whisper,
to each other. They make me lose the battle even before it starts,
And that’s why I hate it so much, because I don’t even get a chance,
To fight for the glory, To fight for respect,
To fight these demons, Hiding inside my head.I write these stupid lyrics and I feel like burning them,
I feel I’ve lost my mojo, my art and I am not getting them,
back, I push hard for something of substance to come out,
There’s a lot inside but I struggle to express it out loud.
I wish I was a mortician and I could execute my vocab,
And then riff new lines, invent my own alphabets.I heard someone say her songs kept her alive when it wasn’t all sound.
I wonder if it was a lie or her words really kept her from going down.
If the words have so much power why don’t they impart me courage.
Why do I always have to search for the perfect metaphor for this furry n’ rage.
Why is that I come at a stand still in between the two stanzas,
May be it’s a beautiful analogy of my state while deciding under pressure.I am afraid I have lost the will to fight anymore,
A defeated soul I walk with my head heavy n’ low.
There was a time I had something to look up for,
Now wherever I look I see the history merging into the future.
But the problem with the world is they can’t even let you live discomfited,
They want business, so you must keep slogging for their happiness.
But I am done. It’s now or never.
These words would be the first for the rest of my life,
Or they would be the last, forever.
These sentences were the step towards the visible dim light,
It’s now up to me if I want to keep walking or still sit tight.~RavS