English

I don’t know what the heck happened to my writing. Every time I put my fingers to the keypads, the words don’t flow out. Not anymore. The consonants and vowels don’t mingle and resonate as they used to. Every passage feels like a worthless piece written halfheartedly, to be force fed to someone later. Am I angry? On whom? Am I frustrated? With what? Am I anxious? But why? Why am I writing? For whom? What’s the point? ...

Yeah just do one thing, take this dagger and pierce it right through the ribs into my lungs. Loving you is probably the simplest thing a man can ever get to do. And yet, at times, it feels so overwhelming, only death seems to be a better alternative. Why? ~RavS

A time came when I thought I am not going to grow up, And become the man I deserved, To be, with the amount of pain I withstood. But then these words came in my life, and they saved me from dying, They gave me the feathers to fly, And touch the sky, with a thousand nautical mile. No, I was never dumb or mute, I just didn’t wanna talk to you, Not because we had any unresolved issues, But you just wouldn’t have understood it through. What it means to be a loner in an overcrowded world, And no one being there share it to. But now I am back, With all the aggression that I earlier lacked, If you diss me, I will diss you more, get that, And If you behave, you’ll surely gain my respect. I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t have time to spend on thee, I ain’t saying make me an idol and start worshiping, But I deserve my space and Now I demanding it. ...

They said I am a poet. I used to take that as a compliment. But now I understand, it’s a responsibility. A responsibility to tell the story that was left unsaid, To unearth the emotions that were left unfelt, To force the nature to do things that were left undone. Up until now I never quite understood how a pen could be mightier than a sword. But now I know. A sword can only kill, Words can both kill and save someone. ...

I feel I am surrounded by vultures who are hungry for my flesh and skin. And the only way to save myself is to become a flesh-eater myself. I am tired of having to compete for things that don’t matter to me. And I am tired of trying to explain myself to the ones who would never understand me. All this rationality and logics of the world makes me sick through my bones… I want to go live in a world where irrationality rules. Where people are mad, so that even if they don’t understand my insanity, they won’t judge me at least. Where no one would laugh when I say I can achieve anything I want to. Where no one would lecture me about the rules, because none exists. Where I would be free to create and break my own customs, tread my own path, and decide what, when and how to love. That’s the world I dream to live in one day. And take my own world there, with me. ...

My Friend, I see you everyday, I think about you everyday, After getting up and before sleeping. I care so much about you, but I can’t tell, I fear I would lose you, As Love, but also as a friend. You can’t imagine what it feels, To hear someone else’s name from your lips, And to pretend to be elated about it. I wish I could take you away, And make you fall in love with me. I wish I could make you laugh n’ laugh , Until you start begging no more please. I wish I didn’t have to eat my words, Every time you asked “who’s she?” I wish I didn’t have to wish so much, I wish it could have all come true. I know it’s unfair to you, I know you would think I deceived you, But try to understand my difficulty, If you could. I am sorry, but I love you. ...

I am torn. Between loving you and hating you. Between wanting to harm you and trying to shield you. Between deciding what’s more important, You or my ego. My yin and yang have left me lacerated. I don’t believe in angels but please… Just this one time, Prove me wrong. Be an angel. And save me. From myself. ~RavS